This is the Concept of it

If someone makes a negative comment to you, instead of being defensive, state these 7 words. "Is that what you see in me?"

They will respond with, “ YES”,  as they just said it. 

Then ask the next 4 words, "Is there anything else?" Then wait.
If they feel led to tell you more, respond with the next 3 words,
"Is there More ?" If they say "NO", then state the prayer request below.

If they are finished with their comments then:

State the prayer request, as an example:
"Could you please pray for me so that the Lord would convict me of that and help me to be more like Him." 
This will almost GUARANTEE that person will not argue with you. 

This is very effective with anyone, even a spouse!

You have allowed them to freely give their opinion, which they are entitled too, and if it’s not true why defend yourself, but if it is, maybe you need to do as your prayer requests.  

The most important part of this concept is that you internalize the 7-4- 3 words. If you don't you will always respond just the way you have in the past. The point is you must practice stating them so that they become a natural response. Internalize NOT memorize!